Swimming Tips

1. Swimmer’s ear is caused by Pseudomonas aeruginosa via dirt tracked into the pool area. Chlorine destroys this germ.
2. If you are trying to lose weight, swim for at least twenty minutes three or four times each week.
3. Don’t run by the pool.
4. Belly flops hurt.
5. Rubber Ducky makes bath time and pool time “twice the fun.”
6. Don’t bother the lifeguard while they are watching the pool.
7. Never dive headfirst into the shallow end of the pool.
8. If you need water wings to stay afloat, maybe you should stay in the shallow end.
9. If you can play billiards, you are probably at the wrong type of pool.
10. The world’s largest swimming pool hold 66 million gallons of water :http://bit.ly/uONMz
11. Starting blocks for swim competitions were first used at the 1936 Summer Olympics.
12. The world’s deepest swimming pool is in Belgium and has a pit 108 feet deep.
13. An Olympic-size swimming pool is 50 meters long. An Olympic-size ego is much bigger.
14. Tracy Caulkins is the only swimmer ever, man or woman, to own American records in every stroke
15. An estimated 65 thousand people in the United States alone do not know how to swim.
16. Don’t swim with your shoes on – the lifeguards tend not to like that.
17. If you are trying to lose weight, don’t swim after eating.
18. Don’t swim in the splash area of a water slide – you are going to get kicked in the face.
19. Caddyshack is not a guide to pool etiquette: http://bit.ly/bLBfZ
20. If the lifeguard is asleep, you are your own lifeguard!
21. Germans love former Baywatch star David Hasselhoff.
22. If you are going to drown, try to do it in Australia. They have the best lifeguards in the world.
23. Don’t go skinny dipping in your neighbor’s pool – he’s watching.
24. Fake shark fins are always fun!
25. Remember: Pool is green = pool not clean.
26. Upon occasion, come up for air.
27. Putting zinc on your nose no longer makes you cool.
28. Pool lanes are like car lanes – the British are still on the wrong side.
29. If ducks land in your pool it is not a cool Sopranos thing – you need to clean your pool.
30. A mirror at the bottom of the pool will not actually kill a blonde – it just confuses them.
31. Wicked witches make bad swimmers.
32. Witches will actually sink in a properly chlorinated pool.
33. The Triple Lindy is not actually possible.
34. Jumping into a pool with Christie Brinkley is always a good idea.